Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
