i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just puked most of my soul out..
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