My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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