foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
