to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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