when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
only you would photoshop your dick
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
false alarm, still single
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