I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
