I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
