there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
