Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
