He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it glows. i had to have it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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