I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
