the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize