come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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