Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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