i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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