thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
