I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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