I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
