Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize