you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
