if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
