Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
