I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize