omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
