i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
