You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
