How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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