she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
