Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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