My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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