I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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