I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
