Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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