pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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