I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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