Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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