Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
