Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize