Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
