Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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