Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
