dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
