Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
