You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
