How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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