I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
