i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
