The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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