Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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