I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
