I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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