So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
These tits shall not be calmed
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