His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have post one night stand depression
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