Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
