she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize