The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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