I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
