You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
