there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there is glitter all over my balls
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
