Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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