YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
