Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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