I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
