I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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