yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
