my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
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