I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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