i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
