I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
