Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
