I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My dick has a subreddit
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
