I love black thongs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
