its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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