im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
