I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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