she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
